Bottoms up

Maybe getting drunk at lunch and coming back to the office was a bad idea. I am sure that I have learned this lesson before and that I am bound to learn it over and over again until finally no one will hire me. I just stopped the work effort over here when I said to a co-worker " I hate it when you leave, but I love to watch you go." I mean people acted like her ass did not deserve such a compliment. You should see it, it's amazing, and I'm not even a fan of a lot of "junk in the trunk". But she carries it so well. I mean it's the type of ass that stuffed into the right pair of jeans immediately makes it to the top of the line up of images that I think about when I run off a batch.

But now I know the error of my ways, don't say what others are thinking, you will just become the scapegoat for their pent up sexual frustrations. I guess I really don't know how to behave, I spent most of my illustrious career in a restaurant, a place where those types of comments might actually lead to sex.

"Oh you like my ass? Why don't you follow it into the walk in and get a closer look."

The Irony of the situation is that not only is she the person that I answer to, but I am supposed to have a "review" soon and she was (up until a few moments ago) the only ally I had. That and the fact that her husband is a fanatic bodybuilder who could crush me with very little effort make for quite the ironic tragedy. I can't wait for the next company event.

"Oh honey here's the guy that is in love with my ass."

I blame it on illegal immigration and border security. It can all be easily blamed on the Mexicans. Well specifically the Mexicans that run the restaurant across the street from where I work. You see I am by nature a frugal drinker and cannot pass up a deal when I see one. No matter what time it is or what I got going on, thirty two ounces of Dos Equis for two bucks is a steal. Three of those and a taco all for under ten bucks. Why don't these people learn to inflate their prices and squeeze every penny out of their customers? If they were charging six bucks a beer I would have thought twice about kicking so many back. Defend the homeland, keep the Mexicans out!