OK, here is the deal. When you have desirable body like mine, you actually have to do your best to make women realize that you are not the one they want. So I will share two of my latest exploits. This is the first one....
The other night I was at the bar, with two of my good friends. As it turned out they were both going after the same chick. I did not want to be involved so I knew that I would have to use my self defense against beautiful women routine.
When I was first introduced to her the first thing I noticed was that she was a bit drunk. The second thing I noticed was her legs. Long delicious legs. I knew it would be hard, so I pulled out the heavy guns. She had on these boots that were an immediate turn on for me. The conversation went something like this:
Me: :"Hey nice to meet you. I'm Rocky."
Her: " Nice to meet you, I've heard some stories about you"
I went half mast, what had she heard? Was she anticipating this moment?I didn't care I immediately had a fantasy about her cooked up in my sick mind. It involved her marching around my room like a Nazi, only totally naked, except for her boots. I pictured her pubic hair trimmed into a little Hitler moustache . Ideally she would then walk up to a podium with a microphone that was at vagina level. It would then be about thirty minutes of her vagina reading from Mien Kompf with the noise of thousands of people cheering echoing around the room. It ended with her slapping a star of David on my forehead and mounting me while gas came out of the heat vents. I came back to reality. How could I keep her from wanting me?
Me: " I doubt those stories are true. I like your boots."
Her: " Oh thanks, they are vintage"
Me: "Sweet. More importantly, " and I said this next part loud enough for all her friends to hear, "have you ever fucked anyone while wearing only those boots?"
The place went silent. Mission accomplished, I had proven that I was not her type. Everyone was dumbfounded, but she did answer.
"No."
With that she had proved that she was not my type either. No harm no foul really, but my friends were pissed, they both pretended to be surprised. As if I had never done anything like that before. Apparently they had failed to tell her all the good stories about my antics. I don't think that they realized I was doing them a favor by eliminating myself from the competition. I mean let's be honest if I was involved in the competition for this woman's affection, it would get ugly, real ugly.
I went to a different part of the bar to fend off some more women.
It's that easy to not pick up chicks sometimes, other times it can be more complicated, I'll get into that in part two.
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